Staying Out Late with Mom

I noticed this waterfall across the street. I’m too new to the neighborhood to know if the waterfall is here year round or only after rain. We’ve had heavy showers lately–one minute there’s a downpour, you turn around and it stops. I’m so used to it I often decide to leave home without an umbrella, and sometimes I forget.

My mom’s nursing home has had a number of new COVID cases this week. When I arrived yesterday, she was sitting by herself in her room, as were the other residents. They usually have dinner together in the dining hall. I had timed my visit so I could take her out. We went to a Singaporean restaurant nearby. She ordered Bak Kut Teh 肉骨茶 juk⁶gwat¹caa⁴/ròugǔchá, instead of her favorite Hainan chicken. The first time I took her to this restaurant, she ordered a colorful drink. Yesterday, she simply said: I’ll have a cup of tea. I ordered lemon tea, which came with the meal.

After dinner, I asked if she wanted to come with me to buy diapers from the pharmacy. I was rather surprised when she said yes. She’s always wanted to go straight back to her nursing home after dinner. There have been times when she’s told me it’s getting late at four in the afternoon. As we approached the pharmacy, we were caught in sudden, heavy rain. Since we were only half a block from the pharmacy, I decided not to stop. By the time we bought the diapers, the rain was coming down even harder. I convinced my mom to put on her rain coat, though she didn’t want to get up from her wheelchair. We stood there for a minute, watching the rain form a stream coming off a tarp over a news stand. I realized I had forgotten to use a coupon, so I returned the diapers and bought them again. When we were finally ready to leave the store, it wasn’t raining anymore. We picked up some bread. She picked green dinner rolls over the cat-shaped bread she’d previously enjoyed.

When we got back to the nursing home, she wanted to go straight to bed. I wanted her to brush her teeth, so I stood between her and the bed. She sat down in her geri chair and took her toothbrush and mug from me. When I told her an aide was going to help her brush her teeth, she snapped at me and said: Don’t treat me like a retard! I can brush my teeth myself! I said goodbye to her and left. She was probably tired from staying out late.

Since my kids left, I’ve been trying to make sure she has a visitor every three days. If all goes well, I’ll start my new job ten days from now, working from home early evening to early morning, for a company in the US. The bus ride to her nursing home is about an hour and ten minutes each way. I hope I can continue to visit her at least twice a week.