Visiting Friends and Family on the Other Side of the Puddle

I made a last-minute decision to visit my kids in the San Francisco Bay Area during their fall break. My firstborn is finishing her undergrad in critical theory and social justice. My younger child is applying to college to study computer science. They are finding their way through these challenging times.

During my visit, I made sure to order delivery at least twice a week for my mom. She’d said she couldn’t eat the food at her nursing home–they keep serving fish, which she doesn’t eat. I left some ginger cookies for her in a locked drawer and gave the nurses the key. I forwarded photos of a salmon run my kids saw and photos of me and my kids to another family member so they could show them to my mom.

I attended a recorder concert Along the Milky Way at my friends Tom Bickley and Nancy Beckman’s in Berkeley. Tom and his bandmate David Barnett gave a moving, varied and elevating performance. Tom’s ethereal touch and David’s virtuosic playing complemented each other exceptionally well.

Records from left to right in the photo:

1. 1- transitional alto recorder
2. 2- baroque tenor recorder
3. 3- baroque soprano recorder
4. 4- renaissance F alto recorder
5. 5- renaissance G alto recorder
6. 6- renaissance Soprano recorder
7. 7- renaissance tenor
8. 8- baroque alto recorder
9. 9- medieval G alto recorder
10. 10- medieval soprano recorder

Tom played a contrabass Paetzold recorder piece where he faced all four directions, which brings to mind the span of my thoughts and travels these days, and of the far-reaching signals we send.

This sculpture by Nancy’s friend Nan Moon was outside the door where the concert took place. I didn’t realize how well it resonated with the recorder music until I placed the above two images in the blog.

I initially stayed with another poet Rusty for a week. It gave me comfort to witness her healing from being hit by a car over a month ago. Then, I extended my stay and found myself in my friend Melanie’s old room, warmed by these clear, affirming messages of her outlook and intentions, which I share and support fervorously.

Walking around Lake Merritt, in the middle of Oakland is always a reminder of how there is still space for wildlife in the bustle. Proximity between people and wildlife was one of the reasons I decided at the age of sixteen that I would move to the Bay Area some day.

Hanging out with my friend Jen, tracking down @okkonpopup, an okonomiyaki popup run by friends of friends, led me to this print of sleeping cats at Helvella Art in Oakland. Before the trip to the Bay Area, I had a conversation at my mom’s nursing home with another woman who was visiting a relative there. We talked about caregiver fatigue, exercise and self care. This is exactly what we need to do:

This visit was restorative, with much love, generosity and creativity from family, friends, and community.

[Edited Jan 6 to add the list of recorders and Jen’s name, and again Jan 19 to add the program.]